moved
I’ve moved to TallyCola.com.
I’ve moved to TallyCola.com.
Days Worked: 1
Times Accosted by a Hostile Member of the Public: 1
I’m performing a menial and tedious task for the Winter Games. I am helping load buses with spectators, athletes and employees going from the city to the mountains in North Van, where there is no parking or accommodation. Once the games actually start I’m sure this job will be exciting and action-packed, but for the next three days it looks like I’ll be standing around on the streets for strangers for upwards of ten hours with nothing to do.
In one particularly boring stretch of time, a member of our group told a story about a hate crime that happened last summer on the Island. While telling the story he used hand gestures, as story tellers often do. A slow, fake punch perhaps would have been employed, given that he was relaying a tale of violence.
Not five minutes later we were approached by a fake-tanned white guy dressed like Eminem, with crazy eyes (you know the kind, Tom Cruise has them), who got extremely close to the Story Teller and started screaming at him. He called him a thug for “re-enacting what you did to somebody”, throwing around weird pseudo-gangster postures, and claiming that he had been videotaping the “re-enactment” from a promenade.
Crazy Eyes was the full package. He had about four puffy vests on, but his legs and arms were bare, and he had a sideways cap and lots and lots of bling. He was positively orange from self-tanning, and when he first started talking I honestly thought he was doing some kind of street theatre. I thought he would go on his rant, perhaps actually start to rap, and then give us flyers to his show. Unfortunately Crazy Eyes was for real. He said that normally he wouldn’t even approach somebody like the Story Teller (who I guess I should mention is black), but since the Story Teller was wearing a Games uniform, Crazy Eyes knew he wouldn’t be able to retaliate.
Anyways he went off eventually, screaming about how he has this video and he’s going to show the world.
It was a weird first day. But I am used to sadly unloved and unwell people wandering around in Lotus Land, and I have a feeling this is going to be bringing them out in droves.
Perhaps something beautiful will happen tomorrow.
Later I tried to buy Oregon Trail on my phone, but it wouldn’t work, and I’m pretty sure I still got charged. :-S
What’s it About?
A former CIA agent cleans up the streets and uncovers a conspiracy in this parody of 1970s blaxploitation films.
What’s It’s Bechdel Test Score?
1/3 – failure.
What About Minorities?
A.
Being a parody of blaxploitation films, the protagonist and almost all the other characters are minorities. Everybody’s stereotyped, but it’s all in good fun.
So…
Grade: 
B
What’s it About?
In the future, vampires have taken over the world and humans are farmed for blood. The supply is running out.
What’s Its Bechdel Test Score?
1/3. There are two woman characters but they are USELESS. If you want to see a film that respects women, or is even halfway realistic in its portrayal of women, do not see this movie. It also has one of the most egregious and blatant fridging of a woman I’ve ever seen in my life.
What About Minorities?
D. The world is fleshed out with a few minorities in the background, and there are one or two small speaking minority roles, but it is still a majority (and not believably) white world.
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What’s it About?
The most famous detective in English literature solves crimes and uncovers a conspiracy in 1890s London.
What’s It’s Bechdel Test Score?
1/3, which is incredibly good for Guy Ritchie films. Irene Adler is awesome, but neither of these things prevents the movie from failing this test spectacularly.
What About Minorities?
Since this takes place in 1890s London and I have no idea how many non-white people were living at the time, I’m going to give it the benefit of the doubt. There is an Irish “gypsy woman” but it didn’t come across as offensive to me or anything.
What’s It About?
A young woman in 1920s New Orleans gets turned into a frog when she kisses a “frog prince”, and has to find a way to turn back human in time to save her dream restaurant.
What’s It’s Bechdel Test Score?
100%! Tiana actually has a goal besides falling in love and talks to her mom about it.
What about Minorities?
A+! There are probably criticisms to be made about the portrayal of Cajun culture, the portrayal of Voodoo, and the lack of context about black poverty in Louisiana at the time/now, but I know precisely nothing about Cajun culture or Voodoo. And on the last point, I don’t think anybody expects Disney movies to be a history lesson. Shrug.
What’s It About?:
This is going to be a hard logline to write.
First try: A marine employed as security for a mining company on a distant moon befriends the local native aliens and helps them in their struggle against the company.
Oh my god that is awful.
A marine stationed on a distant moon is used as an Avatar, disguised as a local native alien to gain their trust for a mining company’s nefarious purposes.
I think the “you can figure out the rest” is implied in that?
What’s it’s Bechdel Test Score?:
2/3 I think… there are some pretty cool female characters, but I’m trying to remember if any of them said more than two or three sentences to each other, and wondering if two or three sentences counts.
Minorities:
Oh god.
There is only Michelle Rodriguez (who is pretty cool in this) and a few backgrounders among the humans. It seems all the other minority cast members were playing the natives of the moon Pandora, the Na’vi. Which makes sense, I guess.
That isn’t really the issue though.
So, um, B+ for having minority actors, F for racism in the story?
What’s It About?
A young man living in purgatory after his suicide goes on a road trip to find the soul of his girlfriend in life.
What’s it’s Bechdel Test Score?
1/3 – F!!!
What About Minorities?
Another F! There are virtually no POC in purgatory, which I could possibly buy if there had been any hand-waving about the world: ie, perhaps most of the suicides were white and atheist, or POC were less likely to commit suicide because of culture or religion or something? I don’t know. I imagine that they were geographically linked – this particular part of purgatory was the United States of purgatory, but I just think it was a little dishonest that all of the suicides in the United States were white. There was a little joke about an Arab taxi driver, and one of the characters mentioning that he hadn’t met any Arabs since coming to Purgatory, so the taxi driver must’ve been a suicide bomber.
And then I was pretty insulted by the character Nanuk. More under the cut.
In addition to be a rather lazy writer and blogger, I’m also pretty lazy when it comes to socializing. I’m one of those people who needs a lot of time to recover from going out and being around other people. So after doing so much and then going straight back to school where I am swamped with writing work, I think it’s understandable that it took me so long to do a write up of last weekend.
Last Saturday evening I went along to Hot One Inch Action at the W2 Perel Gallery on Abbott and Hastings. The button-trading expo is now in its sixth year and was a welcome addition to the increasingly dark nights here in Vancouver. Fifty local artists design unique one-inch buttons (the kind you wear on your lapel) and they are displayed all along the walls at the gallery. There is a bar, a DJ, dancing, and for $5 you get a bag of five random buttons (entry is free). You can buy as many bags as you like, and trade the buttons with other button-traders to collect the ones you really want.

My buttons: I obtained among others the coveted family band portrait and ninja with a flower. My favourite is the hockey player, with the nonsensical caption “my kung fu is strong.” I had a few more that I gave to my friend later that night before I got a picture of all of them. I also have a doubles of the family portrait and the hockey player that I’m going to send to a friend. The one I’ve got the most use out of so far is the girl with the antlers, which I’ve worn to school and work and received lots of compliments on!
The last one on the bottom wasn’t part of the 50 original designs, but a button somebody sneaked in. I liked it anyway!
Some of the buttons quickly become the most popular and increase in value as nobody wants to trade them – the event was replete with people wandering around looking for the popsicles, or the elusive cat-head (a charming fellow with the head of a cat). You can see some of the buttons being made over at Vancouver Is Awesome.
Trading soon became an addiction, and I was eventually trading just for the sake of trading – I was looking for highly-prized buttons not because I actually wanted them but because I knew they were valuable. While the point of the evening was perhaps to socialize and meet new people in the arts scene in Vancouver, I ended up spending the night with my head down and staring at people’s palms, trying to strike a bargain. It was exhilarating! Now I know why stock traders do so much cocaine.
There was a great mix of people at the event, some even brought their kids who had a great time. The trading started at eight and went past eleven, and the time flew by. Hot One Inch Action is definitely set to be part of my yearly arts event schedule, and I can’t wait for the next one.
On Sunday, a gentleman caller and myself went along to The Project by Aaron Bushkowsky, playing down at Performance Works with the Solo collective.

The Project is a dark comedy about the film industry, and it’s far more comedy than it is dark. While the subject matter itself could be preachy and overbearing – a production company wants to do a film about “issues” in Africa, and their African contact quickly turns the tables on them, trying to use the company to finance a revolution in his country.
The characters are more like caricatures of various players in the film industry than complete, human characters, but they are fun, the dialogue is snappy and hilarious, and the actors all did a great job. It’s overall very enjoyable, and at $15 for students it’s certainly worthwhile. The Project continues tonight and tomorrow night.
Monday morning saw me trudge down rainy Granville Street to meet a friend for breakfast at the The Templeton, a downtown ’50s-style diner. My friend was visiting for a limited time only and we decided to have breakfast – since she was staying downtown, I googled downtown diners that were a bit more palatable than Denny’s, and I discovered the Templeton.
What an unexpected treat!
The Templeton is small and friendly, and the authentic ’50s decor is cute and charming. It’s more than just a conversation piece, however, there is a feeling of genuine community and friendliness in the diner. There is a weekly movie night, and the diner is fully licensed and also hosts a big old-timey jukebox (though I’m not sure if it works). There are lots of vegetarian options and the food is definitely a step-up from greasy spoon fare.
I got the blueberry-banana pancakes and my friend got the blueberry-brie bagel. It was one of those things where we both wished we had ordered the other’s dish, but were both very impressed with our own. Unfortunately my camera died after I took one lousy picture at Hot One Inch Action, so I couldn’t snap a picture of my lovely food.
Our waitress was sweet and very wisely cautioned me against ordering english muffins in addition to my pancakes, while a lesser diner would’ve let me spend the money. Our food was swiftly prepared and the service was fantastic. I would go back to the Templeton in a heartbeat and definitely plan to, the next time I have call to go that far for a breakfast, if only just to try that blueberry-brie bagel. I wish it were an all-night diner so I could head there after hanging out downtown!
Monday night found me going to the Rio Theatre‘s staff Christmas party at Grandview Lanes Bowling on Commercial Drive.
I haven’t been back to Grandview Lanes since before they renovated in the summer, and every time I’d been there before the place had been pretty dead. This evening it was full of families and friends, and the atmosphere was great.
Upstairs they have the glow-in-the-dark 5-pin lanes, and the alcohol was flowing. Since this was a staff party and everything was paid for, we had a tab on our alcohol, but they have a pretty wide selection and my experience there before was pretty good, price wise. The East Van crowd is a great crowd to bowl with – there’s a good blend of silliness, blue collar-ness and sportsmanship that makes bowling so fun to begin with.
Anyways, that was my weekend! The days afterwards were full of stress and trying to stay on top of assignments, and this current weekend will be spent doing likewise. Fun times!

Grade:
B+
What’s it about?
After the zombie apocalypse, a sensitive loner-type is one of the last survivors, due to his having no attachments to other human beings. (Wow, what an awful log line).
Try this: In the wake of the zombie apocalypse, a band of survivors have to get over their fear of vulnerability in order to survive.
Ugh these are more thematic than about the story. Trying again:
Zombies have taken over the United States. Some stoners are the only ones who survive.
What’s It’s Bechdel Test Score?
3/3 technically. A qualified pass. These girl grifters were awesome and kickass and had their own agenda, and were sadly still reduced to plot devices.
What About Minorities?
A few minority zombies, but it still didn’t ring true given the geography. I also liked the smash-up of the Native American Casino for what it meant thematically, but I’m not quite sure why they chose that particular location for that scene. Or what it meant by having a bunch of white people kill a Native zombie and then smash up a bunch of “Native” souvenirs. Failure.
So… Read more